Not the most difficult of challenges, really. What’s to figure out? Originally, I thought I’d just tape them together but then remembered my glitter glue. I’m not sure of the point of glitter glue. I mean, it’s pretty and that, but the whole point of glue is that you stick something with it and so once you’ve stuck whatever it is you wanted to stick, you can’t see the glue anymore.
Shame about the smudged bit but these two pages are now squidged together with glitter glue so it’s all one big smudge, really.
Yesterday I bought some art supplies – watercolours, a pack of four glitter glues, a pack of five glue sticks and, my new favourite thing, a rainbow crayon.
I said to Helen, ‘I hope I get to draw stuff today’ but the Wreck This Journal Gods must have heard me and decided to take the piss, as today I got this.
Yeah, all those pretty colours to play with and I have to find only white things. I could have just sat on it, I suppose (my surname’s White… get it? Yes? Good), but I had a look on my desk for something white and put a bit of scrap paper in it, then found more pieces of paper which had a sum and a bit of a receipt on. Boring, but at least I got to play with my new glitter glue. Then I got a bit more adventurous and pasted in an empty packet of ear plugs, along with an iPod Shuffle adapter, some liquid soap, a bit of toilet roll, a Bobby Conn badge and some white paint.
I spent a long time in the arty bit in Tesco yesterday eyeing up the pens and paints (it’s actually the children’s bit but ‘arty bit’ makes me sound less of a weirdo). I decided not to buy any and to see whether I’d actually need any paint and stuff and, what do you know? Yep, today I needed paint and stuff.
I went through the ‘drawer with officey type shit in it’ and found the scissors I said the other day weren’t in there. Still, they’re back now in their proper place – next to the Panda pen in the pot on the windowsill.
All the coloured pens, felt tips, CD markers and highlighters were taken out of the drawer – I even found an Ikea pencil that I don’t remember stealing.
I coloured and scribbled and drew a cat and a smiley face and a duck and a poo. Yes, I drew a poo. I even labelled it in case no one knew it was a poo. This is what happens when your tutor calls in sick and you get an unexpected day off uni.
There is a typo on there that I, as a creative and professional writing student, should be thoroughly ashamed of. Can you spot it?
Dammit, this has confused me – I don’t get to complete it in one day. Not unless I get changed, wash the jeans I’m currently wearing (that I’ve stuck the crumpled piece of paper into the pocket of), then somehow dry them (no tumble dryer here). I think finding a launderette and getting a service wash is a bit extravagant. Plus, if the launderette staff were doing their job properly, they’d go through the pockets to check for tissues and money and stuff, wouldn’t they? My knowledge of launderette staff ends at Dot Cotton though and I can’t remember an episode which highlighted her conscientiousness.
Although, thinking about it, it doesn’t actually say the washing has to be dry and if the washing was wet, the torn out page would be easier to uncrumple after because if I try to uncrumple it when it’s been washed and dried, it’s going to turn to dust, isn’t it? So I’m thinking it would be best to put it through the wash, retrieve it from the wash, let it dry out a little so it doesn’t just fall apart, then uncrumple it?
I fear I may be in danger of over-analysing this.
But, the page is torn out, crumpled and in my pocket ready to be washed. I will report back in a few days.
Over and out.
I was going to wait until this evening and ask Shaun to video me doing this but in case he didn’t have time, I thought I’d try to video myself playing journal golf. Yes, it was as unsuccessful as expected – the videoing bit and playing bit. And since when did golf involve kicking stuff, anyway?
My cat gets a look-in in this, that’s the best bit.
Yay, drawing. Well, sort of drawing, anyway.
Today I got to draw a non-stop squiggly line in orange.
It wasn’t quite non-stop though, as my pen got a bit stuck over the bits that got cut through yesterday. The eagle-eyed and pedantic amongst you will also notice a small gap when I went across the page.
Helen got to write an internal monologue this morning, while I got to be destructive again. Considering she’s the one with the newborn baby and I’m the creative writing student, you’d think she’d be the one getting messy, while I’d be the one getting all internal monologuey wouldn’t you? Oh well, maybe my subconscious is giving me time off from writing thousands of words (except for this blog, duh) and giving a different part of my brain some fun.
When I was still living in London, Shaun got so fed up using my broken, blunt scissors, he bought me a shiny sharp new pair. I don’t usually lose stuff. I usually know exactly where anything is at any given time, even if it’s on the floor under a cabinet somewhere. So, I was a bit perturbed when my scissors weren’t in their usual place in my pen pot.
Yes, I’ve got a pen with a panda on it. Don’t judge me, you’re just jealous.
The scissors weren’t in the ‘drawer with officey type shit’ either.
So, this meant a trip downstairs to the kitchen drawer where the other scissors always live. If the scissors aren’t in there when needed, this sparks a national enquiry. International, even. It’s call up Roger Cook and the United Nations time.
Scissors procured; let the cutting commence.
Snippy snippy. This journal is certainly getting wrecked.
I still haven’t had to do any drawing although, judging by some of the amazing work I’ve found on the internet, I’d be put to shame. I can manage a stick man, but that’s about it (despite getting an A for art at school). Today’s wrecking was about getting messy.
Getting this page messy, anyway. But what to scrub it with? Shaun was downstairs plastering the kitchen ceiling and I didn’t think he’d be too pleased if I kicked him out just so I could find something to scrub a piece of paper with. Also, I didn’t think he’d be too happy if I used up a scouring pad, so I had a little think and decided to give the page a bit of an exfoliating with some apricot seed foot scrub and then give it the once over with a Scholl foot grater.
Yay, now the page is silky smooth and peachy soft. Okay, it’s not. It’s knackered.
Anyone want me to do their feet for them?
Yep, today’s wrecking didn’t require much thinking about.
So, I tore it out and crumpled it.
Then I stuck it back in the book (even though it didn’t tell me too. Ooh, what a rebel).
Helen said today she has to write something using a pen in her mouth. I told her to ask her boyfriend to photograph her doing it, but I am yet to see photographic evidence.
Well, today’s wrecking was a bit of an adventure. Although this does depend entirely on your own personal definition of ‘adventure’. But it involved going outside and throwing something in my neighbour’s shed, so that’s quite adventurous for me.
Today’s page chosen at random was this.
Aarrgghh, I had to tear a page out of the book, yikes. I also had to hide it in my neighbour’s garden (we’ll ignore the American spelling and terminology, okay?), double yikes. I’m not really into trespassing and doing weird things like hiding pieces of paper in neighbours’ gardens. Plus, was I supposed to write a message on it or something? I decided to keep it simple and just write ‘hello’ on it.
Hmm, now to decide where to put it. Our garden is surrounded by gardens so I had a lot of choice. I didn’t want to put it in the one next door on the left, as I might get spotted; ditto, the one on the right. A terrace of houses backs on to our garden, so I decided to scrunch the piece of paper up
and throw it into one of the sheds which I knew had a hole in, as my cat likes to go in there.
It’s in there somewhere, honest.
Can you see it?