Blimey, freeze a page? How am I going to do that? Take it to the North Pole? Pour liquid nitrogen on it?
I pondered this and pondered this and pondered this and… oh, hang on. I didn’t ponder it at all, I just bunged it in the freezer on top of the pumpkin and mozzarella ravioli (£2.49 from Maidstone Morrisons).
There was only one possible thing for a sign to say today.
If, however, you have been moved by all these attention-seeking selfiers (is that a word? Probably not. Ho hum) who probably got so lost in the ‘OMG, LOOK AT ME, I’M SO BRAVE FOR POSTING A PIC OF ME WITHOUT ANY MAKE UP ON’ ‘DON’T BE SILLY, HUN, YOU’RE GAWJUS’ stuff, they forgot to donate, and want to donate to charity yourself, you can choose a charity that doesn’t test on animals from this list.
I’m an over-40 female. It’s my prerogative to be grumpy.
My friend Claire and I used to collect woodlice and take them to the pub. That was a couple (okay, about twenty-five) of years ago though and my bug collecting days are over. Plus it says dead bugs and although I think my house in London has approximately two-hundred-and-thirty-million dead wasps in the attic, I’m not about to make a 120 mile round trip to get them and I’m not about to go into the garden and start squishing things, either.
So I drew some happy spiders instead. I think they’re happy anyway. They could be crying inside, I suppose but let’s pretend they’re happy.
A couple have only seven legs, to give it some realism. Convincing, huh?
I got very bored very quickly writing backwards, so I decided to just write words where the letters looked the same backwards as the right way up but I could only think of w, o, I and l (and ‘n’ if you cheat and leave off the spiky bit), and writing ‘wool’ once was enough excitement for one day.
You’ll have to excuse the splodge from the apple and chocolate parcel – I used the book as a saucer. I don’t usually put pastry based products on my books, honest.
It doesn’t actually say the shower has to be on, plus it had a paddle in the sea a week ago and I’m not sure it’d take another soaking.
I said to Shaun, ‘you’ll have to take a photo of me doing it’, but he said as I’m not using my hands, I can take my own photo.
So, I picked up the journal with my feet and took a photo.
Do you like my slippers? £4.99 from Tesco. Bargain.
It didn’t take long to decide which photo to use. I didn’t even have to think about it.
Although, I don’t actually dislike it, as it sums up perfectly how I felt during the London Duathlon last year. I was cold, wet, bored, fed up and thoroughly pissed off. But as potential photos to post on a dating site go, this probably wouldn’t be one of them. Would you take this girl home to meet your mum?
So, I printed off the photo and stuck it in the book.
And gave myself a smiley face instead of my i’m-really-pissed-off-can-we-go-to-the-pub-now-please face.
The page chosen today instructed me to write my name in different ways. I managed to mess this up and write on the wrong line, so I added arrows to indicate which line it was supposed to be on. Duh.
I got to play with MS Paint though and scrub out my address and phone no. Good old MS Paint. Not the most exciting page, I must admit. Helen had to sell the page she chose today, which I was quite jealous of, as I’d seen that on a flick through and decided when it came to it, I’d put it on eBay, but she’s beaten me to it. Stole my photo and all. Shocking behaviour, I might unfriend her on Facebook. That’ll teach her.
If you’d like to buy Helen’s page though, it’s here: http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Wreck-This-Journal-Page-/301123045580? and all the money will go to charity and there’s even free postage. She is a good person.
The only outside activity I’m going to be doing today is going to the spin class at the local gym, which I can walk to. I briefly thought about doing today’s journal activity in the class but soon remembered I’m not a complete weirdo, so I wrote in the journal while walking round the house.
My handwriting isn’t much worse while writing on the move than it is when I’m stationary, really. And I used to have such nice handwriting, too.
If you really want to know what it says, it’s:
lines are a bit boring so I’m going to write stuff while I walk round the house instead although I’m not really sure what to write but writing and words are just lines on a page anyway, aren’t they? My hand is starting to ache a bit now so I think I’m going to stop walking and writing and go and make my lunch. bye bye
When I’d seen this page on flicking through the book, I’d been looking forward to collecting the letter W, but I’m supposed to be thinking up an idea for a screenplay, so I only had time for a quick flick through an old copy of The Metro to look for Ws.
As it’s the two week anniversary of journal wrecking, here’s a pic of it so far. Yep, pretty wrecked.