Wreck This Journal – Day 21 – Collect Dead Bugs Here

Mar 18 2014


My friend Claire and I used to collect woodlice and take them to the pub. That was a couple (okay, about twenty-five) of years ago though and my bug collecting days are over. Plus it says dead bugs and although I think my house in London has approximately two-hundred-and-thirty-million dead wasps in the attic, I’m not about to make a 120 mile round trip to get them and I’m not about to go into the garden and start squishing things, either.

So I drew some happy spiders instead. I think they’re happy anyway. They could be crying inside, I suppose but let’s pretend they’re happy.


A couple have only seven legs, to give it some realism. Convincing, huh?

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Wreck This Journal–Day 20 – sdrawkcaB etirW

Mar 17 2014


I got very bored very quickly writing backwards, so I decided to just write words where the letters looked the same backwards as the right way up but I could only think of w, o, I and l (and ‘n’ if you cheat and leave off the spiky bit), and writing ‘wool’ once was enough excitement for one day.


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Wreck This Journal – Day 19 – Take This Book In The Shower With You

Mar 16 2014


You’ll have to excuse the splodge from the apple and chocolate parcel – I used the book as a saucer. I don’t usually put pastry based products on my books, honest.


It doesn’t actually say the shower has to be on, plus it had a paddle in the sea a week ago and I’m not sure it’d take another soaking.

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Wreck This Journal – Day 18 – Pick Up The Journal Without Using Your Hands

Mar 15 2014

I said to Shaun, ‘you’ll have to take a photo of me doing it’, but he said as I’m not using my hands, I can take my own photo.



So, I picked up the journal with my feet and took a photo.



Do you like my slippers? £4.99 from Tesco. Bargain.

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Wreck This Journal – Day 17 – Glue In A Photo Of Yourself You Dislike And Deface

Mar 14 2014

It didn’t take long to decide which photo to use. I didn’t even have to think about it.


Although, I don’t actually dislike it, as it sums up perfectly how I felt during the London Duathlon last year. I was cold, wet, bored, fed up and thoroughly pissed off. But as potential photos to post on a dating site go, this probably wouldn’t be one of them. Would you take this girl home to meet your mum?

So, I printed off the photo and stuck it in the book.


And gave myself a smiley face instead of my i’m-really-pissed-off-can-we-go-to-the-pub-now-please face.


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Wreck This Journal – Day 16 – This Book Belongs To

Mar 13 2014

The page chosen today instructed me to write my name in different ways. I managed to mess this up and write on the wrong line, so I added arrows to indicate which line it was supposed to be on. Duh.



I got to play with MS Paint though and scrub out my address and phone no. Good old MS Paint. Not the most exciting page, I must admit. Helen had to sell the page she chose today, which I was quite jealous of, as I’d seen that on a flick through and decided when it came to it, I’d put it on eBay, but she’s beaten me to it. Stole my photo and all. Shocking behaviour, I might unfriend her on Facebook. That’ll teach her.

If you’d like to buy Helen’s page though, it’s here: http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Wreck-This-Journal-Page-/301123045580? and all the money will go to charity and there’s even free postage. She is a good person.

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Wreck This Journal – Day 15 – Draw Lines While In Motion On the Bus, On A Train, While Walking

Mar 12 2014


The only outside activity I’m going to be doing today is going to the spin class at the local gym, which I can walk to. I briefly thought about doing today’s journal activity in the class but soon remembered I’m not a complete weirdo, so I wrote in the journal while walking round the house.


My handwriting isn’t much worse while writing on the move than it is when I’m stationary, really. And I used to have such nice handwriting, too.

If you really want to know what it says, it’s:

lines are a bit boring so I’m going to write stuff while I walk round the house instead although I’m not really sure what to write but writing and words are just lines on a page anyway, aren’t they? My hand is starting to ache a bit now so I think I’m going to stop walking and writing and go and make my lunch. bye bye Smile

Deep, man.

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Wreck This Journal – Day 14 – Collect The Letter W

Mar 11 2014


When I’d seen this page on flicking through the book, I’d been looking forward to collecting the letter W, but I’m supposed to be thinking up an idea for a screenplay, so I only had time for a quick flick through an old copy of The Metro to look for Ws.



As it’s the two week anniversary of journal wrecking, here’s a pic of it so far. Yep, pretty wrecked.


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Wreck This Journal – Day 13 – Document Your Dinner

Mar 10 2014

I’ve got to say, I wasn’t keen on this one. As I am no longer three years old, I can manage – on a good day, at least – to get my food in my mouth and not smear it all over the place.



You’re going to have to pretend I’m northern, as it was my lunch I smeared over the page, not my dinner.


My lunch consisted of hummus, stuffed vine leaves, tomato couscous, artichokes and falafel.


I wasn’t happy about wasting hummus, I can tell you.

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Wreck This Journal – Day 12 – Press Leaves And Other Found Things

Mar 09 2014

Hello, today’s Wreck This Journal is a special Seaside Edition.


Today was a fortuitous day. Because I – along with the rest of the population – woke up, saw the sun and exclaimed all over social media, ‘YAY, IT’S THE SUMMER’, I decided to go to the beach.  I am aware this makes it sound as if I live really close to the seaside when it’s actually a ten mile bike ride away but I went without alcohol last night (a rare occurrence on a Saturday) so I had the energy to do the twenty mile round trip.

I’d said to Helen before I went that I was going to a) give the book a little paddle in the sea; and b) find some shells and seaweed and stuff to put in it. Then, just before I went, I randomly chose a page and, hurrah, today’s instruction was to press leaves and other things I found into the book, so it was as if it was meant to be. wreck-this-journal-leaves-and-other-found-things

The book enjoyed being at the beach, as you can see.


And here’s a video of my Wreck This Journal having a little paddle in the sea.


Here’s some stuff I picked up on the beach. Apparently the Queen owns most of the seaside so, sorry Queenie, for nicking your shells (and feathers and pebbles and seaweed and, um, a dead daffodil).



When I got home (after going to a cafe to drink tea, eat a scone with jam and clotted cream (jam first, clotted cream on top – the Cornish way), and a toasted teacake with butter (all this for two people came to about £5 – a bargain! If you’re ever in Dymchurch, go to the Village Cafe), I put the Wreck This Journal out to dry in the sun.



Then, because the book said to find leaves and I hadn’t found any leaves, I went round the garden and picked a few leaves and flowers and a bit of bark and a mushroom (all the while trying not to get spotted by the neighbours – a challenge not made any easier with most of the fences having been blown down during the recent windy weather) and added it to the collection of stuff I stole from Her Maj.



Realising if I stuck the shells into the book, they’d get broken, I stuck the things I found in the garden into the book instead.



But not wanting to have thieved from the Queen – thereby increasing my chances of being thrown into the Tower and beheaded – for no reason, I covered the cover in pink glitter glue and stuck the shells to that.


Which is when Shaun came in and reminded me I’m 44. But I think it looks pretty. So there.

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