Wreck This Journal – Day 21 – Collect Dead Bugs Here

Mar 18 2014

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My friend Claire and I used to collect woodlice and take them to the pub. That was a couple (okay, about twenty-five) of years ago though and my bug collecting days are over. Plus it says dead bugs and although I think my house in London has approximately two-hundred-and-thirty-million dead wasps in the attic, I’m not about to make a 120 mile round trip to get them and I’m not about to go into the garden and start squishing things, either.

So I drew some happy spiders instead. I think they’re happy anyway. They could be crying inside, I suppose but let’s pretend they’re happy.

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A couple have only seven legs, to give it some realism. Convincing, huh?

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Wreck This Journal–Day 20 – sdrawkcaB etirW

Mar 17 2014

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I got very bored very quickly writing backwards, so I decided to just write words where the letters looked the same backwards as the right way up but I could only think of w, o, I and l (and ‘n’ if you cheat and leave off the spiky bit), and writing ‘wool’ once was enough excitement for one day.

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Wreck This Journal – Day 19 – Take This Book In The Shower With You

Mar 16 2014

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You’ll have to excuse the splodge from the apple and chocolate parcel – I used the book as a saucer. I don’t usually put pastry based products on my books, honest.

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It doesn’t actually say the shower has to be on, plus it had a paddle in the sea a week ago and I’m not sure it’d take another soaking.

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Wreck This Journal – Day 18 – Pick Up The Journal Without Using Your Hands

Mar 15 2014

I said to Shaun, ‘you’ll have to take a photo of me doing it’, but he said as I’m not using my hands, I can take my own photo.

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So, I picked up the journal with my feet and took a photo.

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Do you like my slippers? £4.99 from Tesco. Bargain.

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Wreck This Journal – Day 17 – Glue In A Photo Of Yourself You Dislike And Deface

Mar 14 2014

It didn’t take long to decide which photo to use. I didn’t even have to think about it.

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Although, I don’t actually dislike it, as it sums up perfectly how I felt during the London Duathlon last year. I was cold, wet, bored, fed up and thoroughly pissed off. But as potential photos to post on a dating site go, this probably wouldn’t be one of them. Would you take this girl home to meet your mum?

So, I printed off the photo and stuck it in the book.

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And gave myself a smiley face instead of my i’m-really-pissed-off-can-we-go-to-the-pub-now-please face.

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Wreck This Journal – Day 16 – This Book Belongs To

Mar 13 2014

The page chosen today instructed me to write my name in different ways. I managed to mess this up and write on the wrong line, so I added arrows to indicate which line it was supposed to be on. Duh.

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I got to play with MS Paint though and scrub out my address and phone no. Good old MS Paint. Not the most exciting page, I must admit. Helen had to sell the page she chose today, which I was quite jealous of, as I’d seen that on a flick through and decided when it came to it, I’d put it on eBay, but she’s beaten me to it. Stole my photo and all. Shocking behaviour, I might unfriend her on Facebook. That’ll teach her.

If you’d like to buy Helen’s page though, it’s here: http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Wreck-This-Journal-Page-/301123045580? and all the money will go to charity and there’s even free postage. She is a good person.

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Wreck This Journal – Day 15 – Draw Lines While In Motion On the Bus, On A Train, While Walking

Mar 12 2014

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The only outside activity I’m going to be doing today is going to the spin class at the local gym, which I can walk to. I briefly thought about doing today’s journal activity in the class but soon remembered I’m not a complete weirdo, so I wrote in the journal while walking round the house.

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My handwriting isn’t much worse while writing on the move than it is when I’m stationary, really. And I used to have such nice handwriting, too.

If you really want to know what it says, it’s:

lines are a bit boring so I’m going to write stuff while I walk round the house instead although I’m not really sure what to write but writing and words are just lines on a page anyway, aren’t they? My hand is starting to ache a bit now so I think I’m going to stop walking and writing and go and make my lunch. bye bye Smile

Deep, man.

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Wreck This Journal – Day 14 – Collect The Letter W

Mar 11 2014

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When I’d seen this page on flicking through the book, I’d been looking forward to collecting the letter W, but I’m supposed to be thinking up an idea for a screenplay, so I only had time for a quick flick through an old copy of The Metro to look for Ws.

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As it’s the two week anniversary of journal wrecking, here’s a pic of it so far. Yep, pretty wrecked.

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Wreck This Journal – Day 13 – Document Your Dinner

Mar 10 2014

I’ve got to say, I wasn’t keen on this one. As I am no longer three years old, I can manage – on a good day, at least – to get my food in my mouth and not smear it all over the place.

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You’re going to have to pretend I’m northern, as it was my lunch I smeared over the page, not my dinner.

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My lunch consisted of hummus, stuffed vine leaves, tomato couscous, artichokes and falafel.

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I wasn’t happy about wasting hummus, I can tell you.

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Wreck This Journal – Day 12 – Press Leaves And Other Found Things

Mar 09 2014

Hello, today’s Wreck This Journal is a special Seaside Edition.

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Today was a fortuitous day. Because I – along with the rest of the population – woke up, saw the sun and exclaimed all over social media, ‘YAY, IT’S THE SUMMER’, I decided to go to the beach.  I am aware this makes it sound as if I live really close to the seaside when it’s actually a ten mile bike ride away but I went without alcohol last night (a rare occurrence on a Saturday) so I had the energy to do the twenty mile round trip.

I’d said to Helen before I went that I was going to a) give the book a little paddle in the sea; and b) find some shells and seaweed and stuff to put in it. Then, just before I went, I randomly chose a page and, hurrah, today’s instruction was to press leaves and other things I found into the book, so it was as if it was meant to be. wreck-this-journal-leaves-and-other-found-things

The book enjoyed being at the beach, as you can see.

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And here’s a video of my Wreck This Journal having a little paddle in the sea.

 

Here’s some stuff I picked up on the beach. Apparently the Queen owns most of the seaside so, sorry Queenie, for nicking your shells (and feathers and pebbles and seaweed and, um, a dead daffodil).

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When I got home (after going to a cafe to drink tea, eat a scone with jam and clotted cream (jam first, clotted cream on top – the Cornish way), and a toasted teacake with butter (all this for two people came to about £5 – a bargain! If you’re ever in Dymchurch, go to the Village Cafe), I put the Wreck This Journal out to dry in the sun.

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Then, because the book said to find leaves and I hadn’t found any leaves, I went round the garden and picked a few leaves and flowers and a bit of bark and a mushroom (all the while trying not to get spotted by the neighbours – a challenge not made any easier with most of the fences having been blown down during the recent windy weather) and added it to the collection of stuff I stole from Her Maj.

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Realising if I stuck the shells into the book, they’d get broken, I stuck the things I found in the garden into the book instead.

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But not wanting to have thieved from the Queen – thereby increasing my chances of being thrown into the Tower and beheaded – for no reason, I covered the cover in pink glitter glue and stuck the shells to that.

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Which is when Shaun came in and reminded me I’m 44. But I think it looks pretty. So there.

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