Yesterday I went to the Pilgrims Hospice charity shop I’d given my clothes to, not to see if my clothes were there (although, obviously I had a glance around to see if any were for sale. None were – either they hated my clothes, or they’d all been sold. I hadn’t seen anyone in town walking around in my clothes though, which is probably just as well. That would be a tad weird. Okay, a lot weird) but to get Shaun a toilet book (like a lot of men, he only reads on the toilet. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?) There wasn’t anything I thought he’d like, so I popped across the road to the PDSA shop and had a look in there instead. I picked up the Eric Sykes’ autobiography and had a flick through and saw a bookmark nestled between the pages. It wasn’t just a crumped up old piece of paper or a train ticket, but a beautiful metal Celtic bookmark, still in its wrapper, with a £3.20 price label on the back – which made the bookmark worth more than the book, which was priced at 99p.
I decided not to buy the book (I’d flicked through it and it looked a bit boring – sorry Eric) but thought I should probably tell the woman behind the till that it had a bookmark in it, which she could sell separately and therefore make more money for the doggies and other animals but I was having a shy day and just wanted to put the book back on the shelf and quietly walk out and not have to do any kind of communicating with other humans thing. But my conscience got the better of me so I took the book over to the woman and showed her the bookmark. She didn’t seem too bothered about it but sort of said thank you and I left thinking I should have bought the 99p book and then I’d have a pretty bookmark but that would sort of be stealing and then I’d feel guilty about it for the rest of my life, like when I stole a boy at junior school’s ruler but felt too guilty to use it so it stayed hidden in a box forever. I eventually confessed my crime to him when we hooked up on Friends Reunited (if you’re under 30, Friends Reunited was similar to Facebook, but like watching it on a black and white television instead of a colour one) and he said I’d be hearing from his lawyers.
Anyway, yeah, so, yesterday’s kindness was accidentally making the charity shop more money by being honest and not stealing a bookmark they didn’t know they had in the first place.