Freaks! by Caroline Smailes and Nik Perring

She’s a busy girl, that Caroline Smailes. Her novel, 99 Reasons Why, was released last month and now she’s got another book out – this time in collaboration with flash fiction author Nik Perring and illustrator Darren Craske.

Freaks! is a collection of over fifty short stories, where you’ll find freaks and misfits such as a woman who can reproduce herself at will and attempts to teach her daughter to do the same; the man who can break his way into his lovers dream; and the woman in My Little Pony Pants who likes to be ridden like a pony.

As a taster, here’s Invisible, one of the stories in the collection.

Invisible 

[Super Power: The ability to make oneself unseen to the naked eye]

 

If I stay totally still,

if I stand right tall,

with me back against the school wall,

close to the science room’s window,

with me feet together,

pointing straight,

aiming forward,

if I make me hands into tight fists,

make me arms dead straight,

if I push me arms into me sides,

if I squeeze me thighs,

stop me wee,

if me belly doesn’t shake,

if me boobs don’t wobble,

if I close me eyes tight,

so tight that it makes me whole face scrunch,

if I push me lips into me mouth,

if I make me teeth bite me lips together,

if I hardly breathe,

if I don’t say a word.

Then,

I’ll magic meself invisible,

and them lasses will leave me alone.

Freaks! is out now and available from Amazon as a paperback or ebook.